Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Just a Gerbil in a Wheel

It's been a while since I posted, and I wish it was because I didn't have anything to say. It's not true at all-- in fact, I've been dying to blog, to tell you all about my weight-related dementia. I have so many disturbing stories to share! However, the sad fact is, I simply forgot the password to this blog. And, since I created it by creating a new email-- the password to which I ALSO forgot-- I was stuck in a sort of circle-jerk of access impotence. If you get what I mean.

So it's been a while since I posted last, and since then a few things have changed:

  1. I got engaged! The future Mr. Moses and I will be married this coming October 12, 2013. I couldn't be happier. You can read all about his sneaky and amazing proposal here. As you can probably imagine, my impending nuptials have unleashed the hounds of mental distress with regard to all things weight-and-fitness related. 
  2. I got a new job! I've been here almost two years so, yeah, it's been a while since I wrote. 
  3. I am sure there are other changes, but those are the big ones. 
Here's what hasn't changed: 
  1. My weight.
Not one pound. No matter how many calories I meticulously count, Points I journal, sit ups I do-- it hasn't budged. Not. One. Pound. In more than two years. 

I've been to doctors who just tell me to keep doing what I am doing, I've been tested and discovered that my metabolism is slow, and I've been to a nutritionist who actually told me to try to eat only 1,000 calories, and even I am not crazy enough to follow THAT advice. 

So, here I am. Still working at it, still trying, still frustrated. 

Today I sat down with my Weight Watchers leader to talk about their new 360 program. It was introduced in January, but I am a creature of habit, and I have been doing the old program. Like, the 5 year old program. The one I lost all my weight on. The whole approach is more balanced, even more focused on nutrition than it used to be-- and honestly won't change the way I eat that much, except that I am being told to eat more. I won't lie- that scares me. 

So in a way it's sort of a new beginning, and I am glad that I was finally able to crack the password code to get on here. I have a lot to share-- there's a lot to say when you're a bride-to-be and your weight becomes a Socially Acceptable Dinner Table Conversation, and I am anxious to start writing about that. No one reads this blog, but at least I can have a laugh, even if it's at myself. 

Of course, this blog isn't only about weight-- it's about how I see the world. Does that mean I need to change the name? Oy. I should have never come back!